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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25708732">Numb</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyla_green/pseuds/lyla_green'>lyla_green</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zombies Run!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Gender-Neutral Runner Five, Heavy Angst, S2 M43, Sorry Not Sorry, Spoilers for s2 m43, numb, this is just really sad and short</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:27:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25708732</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyla_green/pseuds/lyla_green</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>MAJOR SPOILERS FOR S2 M43 - The Final Countdown</p><p>"No one stays sane through this, Five"<br/>He was right.<br/>Short, angsty fic where Five loses the ability to feel as a result of the... <i>events</i> of Season 1 and 2</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Paula Cohen/Maxine Myers, Runner Five &amp; Sam Yao</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Numb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Again, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR S2 M43!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“She’s gone.”<br/>
I remain stone-faced, hands in tight fists, staring at the zombified version of Sara Smith.<br/>
Sara. The one who I first ran with. The one who always had my back. The one who could make pancakes for everyone and kill twenty zombies in the span of an hour.<br/>
The one that I trusted so much that I didn’t believe for one second that she betrayed Abel, not even when she killed the Major, not even as she watched me being tortured by Van Ark.<br/>
The one who Paula is steadying her pistol towards.<br/>
A shot rings out, and then she’s gone.<br/>
I don’t even flinch.</p><p> </p><p>I cried when I couldn’t reach Abel in time to see Chris one more time. I wanted, I <i>needed</i> to show him that I got what he wanted. The moment I had heard the gates shut behind me, I had fallen to my knees and sobbed. I didn’t, <i>couldn’t</i> watch as he was dragged outside the gates and when I heard the shot, I had just let another heart-wrenching sob out that made me want to spill my guts out.<br/>
It hurt so much to lose this person I didn’t even know that well. I had been on a few runs with him, barely talked. Yet…some stupid part of me thought he was safe. He knew so much about zombies; nothing could hurt him. He was the last person I expected to get bitten.<br/>
But he was gone, and nothing could bring him back.</p><p> </p><p>Archie hurt more.<br/>
And yet, I cried less. The moment I heard Van Ark shoot her, something shut down inside of me. It was like all the pain that I was feeling had simply nestled inside and refused to come out. It just stayed there, taunting me, reaching out just enough to make me feel the pain and then retreating, not allowing me to let it out. Not allowing me to cry, to scream, to sob.<br/>
I just watched Jamie holding Archie’s body in a tight embrace while gently swinging my axe from side to side, from side to side.</p><p> </p><p>Sara’s death. Simon’s betrayal.<br/>
I don’t feel anything anymore.<br/>
When I got back to Abel, the party was in full swing. And I tried to feel better. Hell, I even did the running man.<br/>
Everyone is laughing, smiling, but I can see it. I see it in the way Jody’s drinking her beer, not limiting herself at half a can as she usually does. I can see it in the way Sam stops and stares in the distance, in the way Paula only smiles when Maxine is around.<br/>
I feel a hand closing around my arm and spin around, prepared to face the next deadly thing that’s come for me.<br/>
“Whoa there, Five, it’s just me!” says Sam, taking a few steps backwards.<br/>
I let myself relax and follow him to a quieter area where he shoves his hands in his pockets and sighs.<br/>
“Hey…How are you feeling? I didn’t really have the chance to ask you.”<br/>
I look at him and the answer leaves my lips before I can even think about it.<br/>
“I’m fine.”<br/>
And I’m not lying. In a way, I am.<br/>
I’m numb, and that’s the best I can hope for in this mad, apocalyptic world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have one thing to say to you if you finished this fic:<br/>I am sorry for doing this.<br/>And thank you, I hope you liked it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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